Nightmare Reality
by Lithryelle
Summary: My first fic. Ken and Osamu dead each have their own thoughts after the accident
1. Fateful Day

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon. I would very much like to though but I probably won't know what to do with all the characters.  
  
Note: This is my first ever fanfic that I'm posting and I would really appreciate reviews please. This fic is about Osamu and Ken and the car accident. I did this as an experiment and I might make this a prologue for a chapter story so please tell me if you liked it or not. Thanks  
  
Nightmare Reality  
  
It happened on a Sunday.  
  
"Ken, get out of the way!" KRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BOOM.  
  
On that day.  
  
"Brother?"  
  
My brother.  
  
"Sam, wake up."  
  
Passed away.  
  
*********************************************************************  
  
Ken called out his brother's name. There was no answer. He crept closer, stopped, and tried again. There was still no answer. The boy's eyes stared at the unmoving body and the pool of dark red blood around it. He did not hear the screams of people nor the sirens of cars. His brows were creased in a frown as if he didn't understand why Sam would not answer him.  
  
He continued to creep closer.  
  
Upon reaching the body he sat down beside it.  
  
"Sam? What's wrong? Are you mad at me?" Ken shook his brother's shoulders and felt the familiar warmth, through his fingers, that he felt whenever Sam hugged him. He did not notice the blood staining his fingers and clothes nor would he have cared if he did.  
  
There was a moan and Ken saw his brother's eyes open.  
  
"Ken?"  
  
"Sam! Come on! You promised to teach me soccer today remember and."  
  
Sam smiled sadly at the innocence of his brother. He did not want to make Ken sad and even though his little brother probably wouldn't understand the situation even if he explained it, he still didn't want to be the one to tell him.  
  
"Ken listen," He croaked weakly.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm afraid I won't be able to play with you today," He saw Ken's face drop.  
  
"But why?" Ken asked, a little disappointed.  
  
"Because I have to go some where today." Sam explained.  
  
"Can I go with you?"  
  
"No, not today. But you'll be able to come someday." Sam assured him.  
  
"Really? Is it a nice place."  
  
Sam almost laughed at his brother's enthusiasm.  
  
"It's a really nice place, Ken and I promise that when we meet again, I'll play soccer with you as much as you want."  
  
Ken's eyes shone with happiness at those words.  
  
"Then I'll wait for you, Sam, I'll wait until you come back. You will come back soon won't you?"  
  
Sam nodded. "We'll see each other soon, Ken."  
  
He reached out a bloody hand and Ken took it.  
  
"But I want to tell you something before I go."  
  
"What is it?" Ken leaned closer as Sam's voice became weaker.  
  
"I love you, my little brother, I'll always love you no matter where I am."  
  
"I love you too, Sam." Ken said.  
  
Sam gave his little brother one last smile and then he left.  
  
Ken felt the bigger hand of his brother go limp in his and deep down he had a feeling that somehow Sam would not return but he pushed the feeling aside.  
  
"He promised we're going to see each other again soon." He told himself. Then the ambulance arrived and carried him away.  
  
The next few days were strange to the little boy. He could not understand why his parents would not stop crying or why people looked at him with pity when he asked when his brother was going to return. Mostly he kept to his room and waited for his brother to return.  
  
Then there was the funeral. He saw people, some he knew, some he didn't, all wearing black and most were crying like his parents. And when he looked into the coffin to see what was inside, he was confused to find that his brother was there. As he placed flowers into the coffin like everyone else, his fingers brushed against Sam's hand. It was cold. The normal warmth that Ken remembered were gone and what was left was an icy coldness that scared Ken.  
  
"Mama? Why is Sam so cold and pale?" He asked, pulling on his mother's black skirt.  
  
She looked at him and burst into tears.  
  
"Oh Ken, Sam's gone, Ken." She hugged her son close to her and cried into his shoulder.  
  
Ken frowned.  
  
"But he said he was going to come back. He said he'll play soccer with me again when he comes back." He protested.  
  
His mom shook her head and spoke into his shoulder.  
  
"Sam's dead, Ken. He can't come back again."  
  
Ken froze.  
  
Dead. Dead. Sam's dead. He can't come back. Dead.  
  
The rest of the day passed in a blur for Ken. The same words kept repeating themselves in his head.  
  
Dead. Sam's dead. He can't come back. He won't come back.  
  
He's body was working on auto-pilot and his eyes stared at stuff without seen them. But he did not cry. He understood but he did not cry.  
  
Only when they came back and locking himself in his room that he had shared with his brother did the tears come. He slumped to the floor and cried into his arms. The house felt empty and alien without Sam there and the days he had played with Sam already seemed a long time ago. He longed for his brother's voice to tell him that everything would be alright and he wanted to feel the protective arms around him that would hold him until he felt safe and warm. He wished with all his might that this was some kind of nightmare and when he woke up his brother would be there again, alive not dead.  
  
But there was no laughter in the house, no comforting voice, no hugs from those arms, nor was it a nightmare.  
  
***  
  
It sucked I know. Review please. 


	2. Ken

Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon  
  
I'm really not good at writing angst fanfics. This is Ken talking about himself after his brother died and there will be one more part. It's going to be Osamu's thoughts. Read and Review please.  
  
*** Part Two: Ken  
  
I must have cried myself to sleep for when I woke up I found that I was in my elevated bed with a thin sheet over me. Outside the room were the sounds of my parents' quiet voices. They were talking, but of what, I couldn't hear.  
  
I carefully crawled down the ladder and looked around the room. My eyes fell on the single picture that stared back at me from its wooden frame, on my desk. My brother. He had always been like an idol to me, someone superior, like a god. And he was a genius. My parents loved him and the public adored him.  
  
I was a mere shadow. But I didn't care.at least I used to not care. Nobody noticed me when I was with my brother and nobody seemed to know that I was related to him. Even my parents seemed to ignore me sometimes.  
  
But I took no notice of that because I had my brother. He took care of me and always found time to spend with me. He was the only one who truly knew that I actually existed. And I was happy.  
  
I don't know how long I stood there looking at the picture but my mother's voice coming from the doorway startled me. She smiled a very forced smile and told me to come have dinner. I followed her.  
  
Dinner was quiet. My parents didn't seem to want to talk and most of the time they just sat in their seats like frozen dolls and didn't even touch the food. I ate little myself because I wasn't hungry. I quietly slid from my seat and went back to my room.  
  
My parents did not notice.  
  
It was my fault that Osamu was dead because I had wished it. But I was angry then and for once I had been jealous of him. For once I had hated him.  
  
I had failed on an exam at school and father and mother were disappointed. They complained about why I wasn't more like Osamu. I had tried my best on that exam and I couldn't stand what they were saying anymore so I exploded. I said stuff that I didn't mean about my brother and I saw the hurt expression in his eyes. But I really didn't meant it, I don't know what happened but words just seemed to jump out of my mouth before I can stop them, before I can think about them. I had thrown myself on the bed when I heard my brother come in and to my surprise, he gently held me in his arms like always and told me that it was ok.  
  
He forgave me even though I didn't apologize to him. I was too surprised to apologize then because I thought he would hate me. But he didn't. He died the next day. I would never be able to apologize again.  
  
"I'm sorry, Oniisan. I'm sorry." Tears were starting again now at that memory. I wished that I said these words earlier. Now he wouldn't be able to hear me.  
  
Father and Mother were like two completely different people than before. They were like robots and always seemed to be in a far away place. I missed their old selves and I hated to see them like this.  
  
One day I made a decision. I'll become Osamu. It was the only way I could think of to make Father and Mother happy again and it will make Osamu proud of me. I'll be smart. I'll become a genius like my brother.  
  
Then I received an email. It was telling me about the thing that came out of the computer. I had wanted to play with it but Osamu said that it wasn't safe. And he had giving me a very long lecture when he found me trying to get to it. I have never seen Osamu that angry before and I felt bad for not listening to my brother. He was only trying to protect me.  
  
The email told me that I was wrong.  
  
It said that the device belonged to me. It told me that my brother had made a lie because he wanted to keep it for himself. I didn't believe it but I began doubting. The anonymous sender of the email told me to take the device and hold it up to the screen if I didn't believe him.  
  
'It's a game Ken, the best game you'll ever play and your brother didn't want you to find out because he wanted to keep it to himself.'  
  
I was left with a dilemma. I didn't want to believe that my brother was lying to me but I wanted to play the game, if it was real. Curiosity won in the end. I took the device from the drawer and held it out. The screen flashed and before me spread a field with strange creatures running here and there. The computer was right. It was the best game because I was in it.  
  
My heart sank. The email told me the truth, my brother had lied. It hurt. It hurt a lot to think that the only person I trusted completely had betrayed me. I was filled with a bitterness I did not know I could feel but a part of me tried to tell me that this was a lie but that part was weak and I ignored it.  
  
I trusted the email instead. I was taken to another place where I put the device in the water.  
  
'.when you put the device in the water, Ken, it will change shape and no one will ever be able to take it away from you again. It will forever belong to you.'  
  
It became true. And the 'game' proved to be a fascinating one.  
  
Soon I began to forget my brother's kindness toward me. I forgot the times we played together, laughed together, and the warmness and safety I felt when I was with him. But the bad thoughts, like my brother's anger, became more clear to my memory.  
  
I achieved my goal. I was Osamu. I was even better. People adored who I am and my parents were happy again. Whenever I played the 'game' I was Osamu. I created for myself an image that had Osamu's hair and a pair of glasses.  
  
I was contented. I was happy. Or so I thought. But the real me was still there. Buried along with my memories. The me that wasn't Osamu was waiting for a chance to be born again. The me that my brother had loved.  
  
Now I know the real truths.  
  
I was never really you. I could never become you no matter what I believed. You never betrayed me and I was stupid to doubt that. In the end I betrayed you. And it never was a game. I only believed it to be, so it would give me somewhere to escape from reality.  
  
These realizations hurt. It really hurts but I promise I won't run away again. This time I'll make it through because I realized something more.  
  
I'm not alone in this reality.  
  
***  
  
Thanks for the people that reviewed my previous chapter. I was really happy about that. Thanks again! 


	3. Osamu

Disclaimer: Do I still have to write this?  
  
Part three of my first fic. Ummm. That's all.  
  
***  
  
Part three: Osamu  
  
Frustration.  
  
I guess I under estimated my brother because he seemed to understand better than I thought he would. And there was nothing I could do to wipe the sorrow from his eyes or the tears from his face. I could only watch.  
  
"It's not your fault. It's not your fault!"  
  
He could never hear me, not even a word but I still said it anyway.  
  
I tried to give my brother the love that he didn't receive from friends or family. But maybe I was just been over protective. Because of me, he had no close friends that he talk to and it was my fault that he didn't want to reveal his feelings to our parents. How could I have been so blind to notice that he was lonely?  
  
He had no friends. He didn't know how to make friends and so the only one he would tell stuff to was me. I helped him with his homework and taught him more advanced stuff so he could be better at school. But now that I think about it, those weren't as important as the stuff I should have taught him like the importance of friendship and love. If he had friends to trust then maybe he wouldn't have become the Kaizer.  
  
How I wanted to be alive then or at least a chance to speak with him again. I saw the Ken I loved disappear under a mask. Me. Was that what he thought I am? Then I am a failure as a brother.  
  
"You don't have to become me, Ken. You're great the way you are. For heaven's sake don't change! Please don't change."  
  
My pleas were unheard. I saw him disappear.  
  
It tortured me to see him so cruel and ruthless. And yet it allowed me to realize what a person I've been. I knew he wanted to be like me because he once told me so but I never knew my dark side had such an effect on him. Yes, I was sometimes harsh with my little brother and I also remember slapping him a few times but I never wanted him to be like that.  
  
"I hate myself."  
  
Yet there were times that the wall he created would crumble and I could see my real Ken struggling inside. It gave me hope and I continued to pray for a day when he would come back. I was rewarded this time.  
  
The first time I saw them, I knew. If anyone can bring back my Ken then it had to be the Chosen Children. And I was right. Ken was back. I was overwhelmed with joy but I miscalculated again.  
  
Ken was back but he carried with him the guilt he had sought to forget and the realization of what he had done.  
  
But this time it was different because he was learning. Not advanced math or science but the stuff that I was too late to teach him. He was beginning to see the love our parents had for him and he was beginning to have trust. He had friends that he could count on to help him over come the nightmares in this reality.  
  
~Fin~ ***  
  
Wow that was short! Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaase read and review people! I really really appreciate the people that did even though it wasn't good. Well, this came out a little different than what I had planned but there it is. 


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